Friday, January 08, 2016

Inaugural Post

Happy Friday. This is the fifth Friday I've been absent from work. My first Friday off was spent in San Juan, Puerto Rico, the day before our yearly December cruise.  On the second Friday, I was three days post-surgery, by the third Friday, I had my post-op visit, and before the fourth Friday, I'd had my drains removed and was feeling better. A week later, I have had my mediport procedure, and a week from now, I will probably know everything about what my chemo routine will be.

Things are happening as quickly as can be expected, even if it feels as if I'm inhabiting a slow-mo, alternative universe. I'll be back to work on the seventh Friday. And my workplace will accommodate my schedule. I will stop worrying about that right now; I've had an on and off stress headache about logistics. It will be okay.

I'm trying to treat this time period as a pleasant break, trying not to focus or pay too much attention to the unpleasant parts, but I admit that that can be hard; I'm lucky that I haven't had much pain--it's discomfort that I've been experiencing, which is annoying, but it's not pain. It's frustrating, sometimes, when I cannot get comfortable, but then I remind myself that I do not know PAIN. And fretting over how well I'm healing isn't going to help me heal faster.*

I'm feeling good this morning, better rested. Perhaps I'm getting used to sleeping on my back. Port on the right, surgery on the left, so that's how it's going to be for awhile. Mike and his computer geek coworker made up some puns about the port, but I'm just looking forward to that bright and shiny day that I will celebrate as deportation day...not that I hate the port. It will be a good thing for me, but of course everyone wants chemo treatments to be past tense. It will be hard not to wish my life away.

In the present, I am thankful that we have a good treadmill, so that I can make myself walk in all weather. And, I'm still working on the left arm mobility, and I'm reading. Not as much as I'd thought, but more than usual. It's really hard not to spend pointless time googling stuff I'm worried about--pointless because it only increases the worry and frustration about The Unknown. Honestly, I should put controls on myself...

Actually, from here on out, I am going to do exactly what I'm told to do, to the best of my ability. There will be eight chemo treatments over a sixteen week period. I will go bald and not have a beer for a very long time. I predict that I will miss the beer more than my hair. And yes, these two things will be the least of my worries. 

This year is off to an unusual start, in more ways than one, but I'm optimistic...

 ....and I'm gonna roll with it.

*My left breast and seventeen (17) lymph nodes were removed, only two of which were cancerous.  And  I had an excellent surgeon.


TLP said...

You are a trooper. It's going to be okay, but first it's going to be kinda shitty.

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