I'm just bobbing along, one day at a time here, nothing exciting, but last week was busier than I liked. Sometimes, when I volunteer to do stuff, I end up thinking, What was that for? What good did it really do? Or, What good did I really do? But then, if I hadn't gone, I would not have spent time with some of the nicest people I know. And so it goes--it's more about staying connected than actually doing anything productive.
Another rainy day, we need the rain, but it seems to be augmenting a time that is vaguely boring and gloomy. The young women at work are working on their excitement for dressing up as 1980s rock stars on Halloween, and from my vantage point, it seems forced, something of a project, an assignment.
Weren't we happier than this, in our youth, or am I remembering things in a skewed way? I remember going out to the Metron with a few other girls, and dancing, and genuinely having fun many days a week. I don't sense that going on, now. One of these young women, #2, is living in an area that I used to think of as a hip, party central type place, but #2 thinks it's a dump, and has had weird, random stuff stolen (someone broke in a window and stole her coffee maker!), and she wants out. It's not a fun place. And these young people never talk about going to concerts.
Where's the fun??? It seems to me that right now, older people are having more fun than younger people. I'm not bragging. This is sad. High school students are too busy, too scheduled, too aware of what they'll put down on that college application. College students are wondering how they'll get loans and what jobs will be there when it comes time for them to pay back their loans. Everything they do must be geared toward making connections, networking, because all else equal, it's who you know. There's no living in blissful youthful oblivion anymore.
I'm secretly having more fun than my coworkers. They'd never believe it because of my quiet demeanor, but I am. I try not to make that painfully obvious. This is probably close to how these young women picture Old Actonbell having fun:
(I'm taking in a shoebox filled with my old, wild earrings, which these women will probably ignore, but maybe I'll get lucky and someone will take them off my hands...should've taken this stuff to the Salvation Army well before Halloween. I'm scheduled off on Halloween, but if I had to dress up, I'd choose Boy George, and he didn't wear earrings. Really.)