Saturday, June 28, 2008

ah, summer

Look! The Whos are falling to earth! They'll be lost in the ivy. It's really dark in there, too.

Just kidding, it's not Whoville. It's a hole in the darkness of night. That's right, folks, we not only have a problem with global warming, but also global tearing. We're coming apart at the seams, so please, when you see these holes, don't do anything to make them bigger. And don't try darning them, either. You'll just make them look like spider webs.

Nah, that's a scam. It's really a small moon. We'll be seeing more and more of these tiny satellites orbiting really really close to the earth.

Flying electrical eels! AKKKKKK! That's all you see, is one glowing eye on these creatures, they sneak up to you at nighttime and sting the life out of you. And they're atrociously ugly, too.


So, after a couple drinks, I sit out on the patio at nighttime, watching all these fireflies flickering by, and figuring that surely, if I took pictures at random times, I would get a picture of a bunch of flickering fireflies. Ha! I'm here to tell you that you can take a mother load of pictures and not get more than one shining bug at a time, if you're lucky. Most of the pictures showed nothing but--black. (That ovalish thing at the top of the picture is the bottom of a windchime.)

The neighbors see a woman who often sits out to read, but other times sweeps the patio while opening and closing the door an inordinate number of times for a strange cat, and who is now sitting with headphones on and taking pictures of the darkness. Flash. Flash. Flash. Actually, the summer season always starts with a really skinny guy hauling an air conditioner up a ladder to the roof of the patio, with that crazy woman close behind. He goes down, she stays up, and they struggle with it for awhile, then she climbs down, they put away the ladder, and then hardly ever use that air conditioner, anyway.

Honestly, I'm just trying to enjoy being outside this summer, instead of letting the season pass by like any other. Mom and I did go to the Saturday Market, AND I came home with cherries, so that's about three checks on my summer list. Sometimes, I let summer go by without cherries, which is wrong.


G said...

I must stop here daily as you keep reminding me of the important things. Cherries in the summer! We haven't had any yet!

The paragraph about the AC installation was a great visual :)

TLP said...

LOL. I love you. So sweet. And so honest.

I noticed the fireflies last night too. I even went out and caught one, but gently of course. I let him/her go quickly.

Ariel the Thief said...

You're not fooling me, I know that those are one eyed creatures sneaking up to me.

Cherry, mmm!

Doug said...

That was a hilarious post. I thought the wind chime was a "Curb Your Alien" sign.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

This here b**g is lot of fun, is what it is. Very nice.

tsduff said...

I too have witnessed fantastic pictures which, after passing through the camera's eye become not-so-cool. I don't understand it.

Lovely moon - no eels in site (I'd turn 'em into unagi if they dared)

I'm very fond of my firefly memories... have only seen them once, on visiting my baby sis in Arkansas where I was enchanted with them and stayed out getting bitten by huge mosquitos just to see them. They were pure magic.


Tom & Icy said...

That gives me an idea, sort of. If I see a bunch of fireflies or lightning bugs in the dark, I might set the camera on a tripod and open the lens for an extended time. That would make for an interesting picture. Now if I can only figure how to do that with a digital camera.

Fred said...

You'd fit in my neighborhood just fine.

I've seen one firefly in the seven years I've lived here. Don't they like warm weather?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That certainly would be wrong. I have had cherries 5 (FIVE) time so far this summer. And more to come, no doubt.