Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Journal on the lam

Sooooooo, I've been unemployed for three days now, but I feel somewhat busier. My first interview today went well, I think, despite the fact that I almost had a wardrobe-inspired meltdown before leaving.

There's always something that I didn't think of. I did have the right clothes. In fact, I'd gone out a week ago and bought new stuff, especially for this kind of occasion, but...there was this one little detail that I'd overlooked. Attention to detail is something I always claim to have on applications. As I got dressed, it became glaringly obvious that none of my pants were hemmed for walking. Or standing. Not even in my highest acceptable shoes. How is it possible that I didn't realize that? I can't claim this as a minor detail, I know.

However, I did stay calm. I tried on all my pants--black, gray, brown-- and all my shoes--brown oxfords, brown ankle boots, brown other oxfords, highest black oxfords-- and realized that I had a choice: hem NOW or go in a pair of pants that were possibly not quite dressy enough for an interview. Well, I'll be damned if I bought new pants for nothing, so I hemmed. Of course, that didn't go as efficiently as it could have, either.

REMINDER: Throw out old, disintegrating thread, and get needles that are open enough to thread without a magnifying glass. (What happened to these needles???)

Somehow, though, the pants got hemmed and pressed, and I showed up right on time. There really must be a force. And I didn't sweat too much, wearing a blazer in this heat! I ran in shorts today...but I digress....

Speaking of being oblivious to details (don't tell anyone, but), Mike and I were recently downstairs playing Scrabble, when I looked up and noticed that the Christmas tree was gone.

Actonbell: Oh, you took down the tree! When you'd do that?

Mike: (laughin' in up, big time) Three days ago. I took down ALL the decorations and the train.

Actonbell: Oh.

I've been a little distracted, lately.

Shades of what I'm leaving behind: The Escaped Journal
(The bad, the weird, and the unusual stuff was supposed to be in the garbage).

May 15, 2000

Dear Agony Column,

There's a situation at work that I find really creepy, but it's hard to describe. You see, I'm trying to avoid talking to Elmo about Cranky, this woman in shipping--I mean, it's so insane. Cranky, Jill, Jethro (Jill's serious boyfriend), Todd, Dreamy, and Elmo used to go out and socialize all the time, but Cranky's husband never went along. So, Elmo used to dance with her, buy her drinks, and it sounds like he also flirted quite a bit. She was obviously flattered by the attention, who wouldn't be? However, things went too far, Elmo grabbed her one night (says he was drunk, their excuse for many things including forgetting to leave tips)--and it then got around at work that she was flirting with Elmo, and Elmo was after Cranky and she was encouraging it, blah, blah... This embarrassed Cranky, so she demanded an apology from Elmo, then stopped speaking to him. I gather that that's when he started talking to me--withdrawal from female attention drove him to start telling me all his woes. It took awhile for Cranky to mellow towards Elmo, and when she finally looked up at him, Cranky noticed that he spent a lot of time talking to me, another woman, and so she started talking to him again. In retrospect, it's so obvious that Elmo did this on purpose--sometimes he'd even get to work early and wait till I was parked to walk me in, because Cranky would see that. He tells me that she's an "alpha female" and must be on the top of the social pecking order. She's territorial. Cranky doesn't want Elmo, but she wants Elmo to want her. Well, as soon as she paid him any mind, he made it very clear that he would bend over backwards to keep it, which was the reassurance Cranky wanted--so now, she's ignoring him again. This little game plays itself out over and over, and seems most unpleasant for Elmo. And Elmo did know better. I have come to the conclusion that they are both sick individuals and I don't appreciate my part in The Neurotic Passion Play, either. How would you react to this? I don't want a problem with either of them.



Dear Disgusted,

You have no idea how bad things are going to get, so relax and enjoy this time. Do what you want, talk when you want, and ignore this. Both Crabby and Elmo will exit the scene very shortly, but not together. And there is no help for Elmo, dear.


Logophile said...

Well, it should be easy to get something better, right?
I know, I know, just call me a starry-eyed optimist.

You are a speed hemmer, that is impressive.

Doug said...

I'm going to need a new role model if you have a new job before the end of the month. I still kind of hope your new coworkers are crazy or at least can be made to seem that way.

Can I plead male on the hemming business?

Tom & Icy said...

Hindsight is funny, Foresight is scary.

TLP said...

Just read this to your father. We love your work stories. I hope you keep all the journals, if in fact they exist.

ariel said...

You didn't notice the Christmas had gone for three days? Soul sister.

Just a curious question, just because you tried so many pants with so many shoes, you didn't even consider a skirt?