Sunday, December 30, 2007

the stuff of--memories.

Dear Serena,

You are driving me nuts, but it looks like I am stuck with you until the bitter end. This morning, when you hopped up onto the bed and started walking back and forth across my face, I noticed that there was something on your tail. So, up I got, but before I fed you, I wiped off your tail, which pissed you off, but confirmed my suspicions that you have completely let yourself go. So, off I went, downstairs to your litter box area, where I cleaned up the mess you'd just dragged your tail through. And, by the way, your "litter box area" is beginning to grow a suburb with its own area code. If you walk through the house one more time with doodoo on you, you will be thrown into the downstairs shower, at least until I've finished scrubbing myself off.

Sincerely,

your staff

P.S. Mike got one of these Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower cleaners for Christmas. We'll let his brother know how well it works for cleaning scum off cats.

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JUST KIDDING! I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY CAT, EVEN IF SHE DESERVES IT.




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8 comments:

Tom & Icy said...

We got a cat that looks just like that, except it is a kitten and jumps around all over the place. I've been taking it out and trying to teach it to do it's job out there instead of in that box. Silly cats! Woof! -Icy

The Lazy Iguana said...

when I found Cleo - she was in sad shape. She had some kind pf allergy or something that caused her to have the runs. REALLY BAD case of the runs. The poor little kitten could not always make it to the litter box. At one point the poop was more like water than poop.

And she has long hair. So the poop was always stuck to her fur.

So she got a lot of baths.

ariel said...

Hey, where has the cell phone post gone?

Both letters are hilarious. Christmas is the holiday of endless fun!

(Actonbell, someone who doesn't give a creature what it deserves even when it deserves has a real good heart!)

turkeyman said...

you could always just get a set of goalposts and dropkick serena through them every time she misses her box!! :-) That might teach her!! I'm kidding...I'm kidding...(sort of)

TLP said...

That darn cat is lucky to have you! She is a mess. Pun intended. Sweet, but...

Doug said...

Obviously you project onto your cat, the desire for complete freedom and resent her for the part of your animus you see the animal possessing.*

*to be read with a Viennese accent

TLP said...

Serena does have a bitter end, huh?

AP3 said...

Oy! TLP took the words outta my mouth -- "That darn cat"! Icky pooh!