Sunday, December 02, 2007

Last days

We are being compressed into an ever-shrinking space. I have just eight full days of work left, ever, in the asylum. It's been awhile since I've told an asylum tale, mostly because I took leave of Napoleon and Certified, but now that I'm forced to be around them again for a few days, I'm reminded of how weird they can be.

LATEST DISPATCH: Friday

I was sitting in the break room with Buntop and Mr. Peabody at one table, while Certified, Napoleon, and Constructionbarrel were sitting at another table which was behind us. To our left was a much longer table with a sign on it that read, "Mark's group." On top of that table was spread lots of food, including a cake. Obviously, some other department was having a celebration.

Always nosy, Certified gets up and walks over to the long table.
Certified checks out the food.
Certified grabs a plate.
Certified helps herself to cake.
Certified calmly walks past us and back to her own table.


Buntop and I are being as quiet as we can with our giggle-fit, but then, Winnie (another inmate of ours) joins us at the table, and jokingly says, "Ha! We should check out what THEY brought in." Buntop let loose with a loud peel of laughter, and I whispered to Winnie that Certified had indeed already thought of that and was eating her prey as we spoke. And I know Certified knew that we were laughing at her, and was probably complaining to her two coworkers about how horribly rude we were, but I don't care, because I honestly couldn't help it. In fact, every time I picture her at the "Mark's group" table, I start giggling.

This reminds me of something Mike taught me:

There once was a man so benighted
that he never knew when he’d been slighted
so he went to a party
and ate just as hearty
as if he’d been really invited


I have to wonder if she'd been embarrassed if anyone from "Mark's Group" had caught her.



Just a few more days 'til I walk out that door!

8 comments:

Doug said...

The Midnight Special is shining her light.

I sure appreciate Mike's Limerick.

ariel said...

You're going to miss your funny coworkers.

I love the names you give.

TLP said...

Amazing! I've always thought that I was bold as brass...but I have never, and could never, do such a thing! I mean, come on! You can buy the food you want to eat. You don't have to steal it.

Amhsirak Rian XXVIXIXLXXVI said...

Wow with such a colourful office life, I would be sad to leave the place! Surely very few events in life let you laugh out, and definitely not work time!!

You are the queen of nicknames!!

Bone said...

Yeah, I would be too afraid of getting caught or breaking the rules. I'm such a fraidy cat.

Do you have a little nickname for everyone?

Doug said...

People above are making good points. How about when your job ends you give the rest of us new names?

The Lazy Iguana said...

Hey I would have scammed some free grub too. Why not. In 8 days the place closes the doors - and what are the odds I would ever run into anyone from "Mark's Group" again? So what if they do see me :)

G said...

First my jaw dropped as I read of Certified's high jinx then I chuckled along with you.

Your work stories are the best. Mike's limerick so perfectly fit the scenario. Nice going.