When was the last time you bought a fruitcake? It seems that people only buy it during the holiday season. Fruitcake can be a hard thing to sell any other time of the year. How would you market it, to remedy this problem? I mean, I think it would be hard to dream up a serious campaign to sell more fruitcake, especially on TV. What would an ad have to say to you, in order to entice you to buy a fruitcake, if you had absolutely no intention of buying one and certainly no intention of ever eating a fruitcake?
My answer to this would be to harness the power and cuteness of the coati mundi. That's right, it's absolutely necessary to enlist the help of an adorable, cuddly animal friend, one that demonstrates a love for fruit. At the left is a picture of a baby coati eating an apple. Or maybe that's a pear. Anyway, a coati is bound to love a fruitcake. And he's a sweet, deserving little cutie-pie, too. We would downplay the fact that coatis will eat almost anything and that they are related to those famous garbage-eaters, raccoons. We do NOT need to mention that.
I think these fruitcakes should be called Tutti Fruiti Coati Cakes, and should be packaged in a tin with various pictures of this adorable, semi-tropic mammal eating fruitcakes. This is important, because we want to avoid the possibility of anyone thinking that there is Coati IN the cakes. No one thinks that Little Debbie is actually an ingredient in cakes because she's pictured looking so healthy on the package, so this should work.
Look! Badgers have been used to sell lotion, and they aren't even all that cute. Coatis could sell fruitcake, easily. And maybe we'll throw in a little coati figurine, in the center of the cake, so people can collect the whole set of tins and toys.
lagniappe (lan-YAP, LAN-yap) noun
An unexpected benefit, especially a small gift a customer receives with a purchase.
This post inspired by this guy.