Saturday, November 17, 2007

Curious Friday

The atmosphere was immediately strange. It was The Last Day for most of the warehouse, and on this special day, there was to be a festive, catered event featuring an early Thanksgiving dinner. At 10:00am.

Timing aside, The Last Supper was fabulous. In addition, there was even expensive root beer, crafted by no other than The Appalachian Brewing Company. It looks just like beer, dressed in those beautiful bottles and labels. We had an entire hour for lunch, and then some, because no one was counting. And no one cares.

The Exodus started at 11:00 am, the official time for departure for those turning in their IDs. Surprisingly, many people lingered to talk and get all gushy with other people, some of them hanging around until 11:30, which was clearly keeping the rest of us from getting back to work, which is very important, let me tell you. Are we busy? Oh yes.

First off, there's a ton of jewelry and knick-knacks that for whatever reason we can't send out to folks, so the company has generously offered them FOR FREE to employees. We've all been snickering at and making fun of this stuff for a year now, but suddenly, when the FREE sign appeared, so did the crowd. I had no choice but to sit on my butt and do nothing while my work partner, Oldtimer, looked over the jewelry. Oldtimer had previously joked about how he'd wind up on the couch if he'd ever bring such stuff home, but there he was, seriously checking the crap out, and even picked out a couple pieces. I did not ask to see them.

Buntop was looking over the other merchandise, and kept coming back to me, while I was trying to catch a capnap.
How about your nieces? They have trinket boxes over there! And those musical carousel horses! And dolls! In about ten years, she will have a teenaged daughter who will compare these items with the ones over at Kathy's Christmas and then laugh hysterically, or gag, or whatever, but then she'll understand that I was not being a deadbeat aunt.

Is you mom into birdhouses? She's talking about those music boxes that are probably free because their tune has gone flat. And they are cheaply made and no, Mom doesn't want one. I know her really well, and I can confidently make this decision.

It was a long march through the afternoon. When Oldtimer got finished picking through the FREE stuff, we resumed our urgent work: packing. By degrees. Count this SKU, take this many, label, write it down, put it in the box. Count this SKU, take this many, write it down, put it in the box.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Next time they trot out the FREE stuff, maybe I'll choose the gaudiest thing on offer and wrap it for as The Annual Christmas Joke. See, now everyone will be afraid to open whatever I bring. It's a possibility. I seriously hope rings such as the one on the left are purchased in jest.

Speaking of jokes, check out the Fantasy Sports Bling rings!

Curious and curiouser.

10 comments:

ariel said...

Everything looks just so much better when for free. Maybe your life will be saved by musical carousel dolls one day. One never knows.

So you had a dinner at 10am. Alice in Wonderland?

TLP said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your loving mother.

TLP said...

But grabbing some of that junk for the XMAS night game exchange is a seriously good idea! I'm already afraid to open half the stuff that anyone brings anyway.

Doug said...

Musical birdbox?

Just kidding.

AP3 said...

Yes, thank you for not grabbing any jewelry for me. But TLP is right: perfect for the Xmas night game.

SEA MONKEYS!

The Lazy Iguana said...

I would have assumed everything under the "free" sign was actually free - and claimed the table the crap was sitting on top of.

tsduff said...

Oh please Actonbell, save the big pink fizzy ring for me! Raven's like baubles.

The Lazy Iguana said...

The fantasy sports rings have to be a joke item. Like this Hello Kitty AK-47

I would have felt sorry for those taking this horrible free crap home.

Nessa said...

It is amazing what the word FREE does to things. People will take gazillions.

Bone said...

We used to draw names at my mother's family's Christmas. There was one that one aunt that you always hoped didn't get your name. A home-painted sweatshirt was the best you could hope for.

I like the name Buntop.