Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Isn't it terrible, and boring, to have nothing to say for days? Oh, I think of things to write about during work, but when I get home, I can't imagine writing about such boring stuff.

Partly, I've trained myself to be so quiet during the day that I really have become less expressive. It's hard to describe, this feeling that I need to hide all the time. When I'm at work, I feel slightly paranoid and shell-shocked, after having been dissected by the likes of Certified and Napoleon. Even though I'm working in an area apart from the rest of the warehouse, with a much smaller group of people, I am very aware that they might find me offensive, if they knew what I believed in--and didn't believe in. I've heard enough of their talk to know that.

Actually, I realize that I don't stand much of a chance of getting a word in edgewise, anyway. Buntop went on such a blahblah rampage that I almost forgot that she was talking to me. At one point, she actually shouted my name--

Buntop: I was saying, my roots were this long....
When did she start talking about her teeth? It's about a root canal, right? I can only guess...

And then there's Makettle, regaling us with the latest story about her control-freak son-in-law, who wouldn't let his parents see his child on Easter (his wife has no say), and how this is a grudge that goes all the way back to a Christmas two years ago when someone let his son open a toy Hess truck before the SIL wanted his son to open the toy Hess truck.


Makettle's gusto in illustrating this moment frightened me.

Actonbell: *gasp* This is all about a toy? And he still won't let his parents in?

Felix chimes in here , updating me about how very petty the SIL can be.

Makettle: Oh yeah! This time [Easter], I got out the video camera and taped him goin' off.

Well, I think Makettle and her family should all sneak off to an undisclosed location before this poor little boy starts showing signs of trauma and stress.

Oh, and there were stories about all Makettle's wacky excuses for being late to work in the past, and her wedding, with all its obstacles--she had an accident and "busted" her teeth, her wedding singer got laryngitis, the flower girl broke her arm, and I can't remember the rest. On and on and on, and--well, it's still better than being out there with all those mean people, but--

What was this supposed to be about, anyway?

And I still didn't finish LOGO's meme! Okay, five names for a rock band. I left out the word creative, mind you.

Sufferin' Hedgehogs
Circlin' the Drain
Wookie Wins
Chow Hounds
The Flying Lemurs
I'd better sign off, now. Hope to read y'all tomorrow...


Cheesemeister said...

I used to work for a telecommunications company that handled outsourcing for AT&T and GTE. (No, I didn't live in India!) One time they came down with the verdict that we were not to discuss ANY non-business subjects while on company time. "How 'bout them Avs" was a forbidden topic of conversation! Amazingly I worked there for a year and a half. It was abject misery.

neva said...

for one who claims to have "nothing to say", i believe you said a mouthful. and a funny one, at that. "Makettle" alone is worth the price of admission! not sure how you come up with some of these names, my friend, but they're hilarious. (Lord help me, now i can't get the image of Marjorie Main out of my head... in black & white, no less!)

so, about Buntop's roots...? xox

Tan Lucy Pez said...

LOL. I love it when you talk work.

I can just imagine Buntop's trying to get your attention, while you were pondering the universe again.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Forgot to say: I think those band names are creative. Good job.

Doug said...

So, you're feigning shyness. Good strategy.

I want to be in Wookie Wins.

Marti said...

Gawd, I am so glad I work at home. Alone. LOL

Hope you have a terrific day (at least when you get home - lol)

Jocelyn said...

I can't even remember all the jobs I've had where I've felt distanced or alienated from co-workers. I'm always fine with doing the work, but when there's this forced conviviality, it makes me crazy. And they never get to know the real me.

Keep using your blogs for the real you!

Logophile said...

Man, it sucks to have no one around who GETS you. Even if they do provide fodder for amusement.
I manage to alienate folks right and left if I don't keep my mouth shut. Just last night after Thing One's baseball practice I did it.
The coach was droning on and on and on, about game schedules, uniforms, fund raisers, blah, blah, blah, when he finally reached into his pocket for a wad of crumpled up papers and informed us he was going to review the league rules. While he was smoothing the top sheet I asked,
"No steroids?"
A couple parents laughed, a couple looked shocked and the coach looked annoyed.
Oh well.
I LOVE those band names!
Circlin' the Drain sounds like country but I'd sing backup for Wookie Wins.

Jamie Dawn said...

The Peeps on Earth photo below cracks me up!!

Your work sounds like hell on earth. Of course, things COULD be worse. At least you're not fearing for your life, but I'm sure you DO fear for your sanity.
All that fuss over a Hess truck???!! People can be so stupid!! Who cares if the kid opened it when someone didn't want him to. I can't see that being cause for a two year grudge. CRAZY!!

When your mind glazes over as these people are droning on and on and on, you need to learn the art of the "Uh-huh" followed by a head nod. It will give the appearance that you give a damn.

My son is forming a new band called All's Fair. I think he came up with a pretty cool name.
I think your band names were quite creative. :)